It has been quite a while since I’ve written anywhere here! I don’t really use my tumblr much either unless it’s the day after an award show and I want to look at all the cool pictures from the event or some gifs of my favorite artists. Anyway, I’m alive and well, sorry for the hugeeee delay in posts!
So a few things are going on. But in a nutshell, there is a lot i want to accomplish before school starts again this fall. Some of which, are already underway.
I’ve made it a priority to take better care of myself in every way. I’ve never been much of a fast food junkie or junk food hoarder, as I was brought up in a home where most things are made from scratch, so my eating habits haven’t changed dramatically. I’ve never really been into pork (although my friend had me try some she made at her house for dinner and it wasn’t bad), and I really only eat beef when I go to restaurants with friends and order a nice steak or a well done burger. And that certainly doesn’t happen often. Besides, I still enjoy tasty food!
I’ve been a person who walks a lot since middle school, I used to walk a mile to school and a mile back in high school. The mile-long walk home usually followed marching band practice or softball practice, so I had even more exercise. College slowed that down a little bit, but I didn’t have a car so I walked a lot anyway. I’m back home now, with a car, so I have to make the conscious effort to get my heart beating. That means taking the stairs, parking in far spaces in parking lots, occasional bike rides, and more recently, jumping on the trampoline. When I’m feeling really energetic I do legitimate workouts to keep the flab away lol.
Another way I’ve been trying to take better care of myself is to minimize stress. I’m a constant worrier. I criticize myself unnecessarily when it comes to my work, and I take constructive criticism very seriously. I naturally have the desire to please everyone and sometimes that means that I have to neglect my own feelings. I’ve made conscious efforts to express myself more. Some things I can’t just let slide anymore. A lot of dramatic stuff within my circle is now the least of my worries.
I’ve been teaching myself to understand my worth. Respect goes a long way. I give respect to everyone I meet, whether they return it or not. But I will no longer find myself in situations where my dignity is
Being compromised. I’ve been used for my time, money, resources and even my generosity and sometimes naïveté. I recently realized that the friends I value the most don’t expect anything from me but my presence and my friendship. I owe them nothing else. And that was a great feeling once I realized it.
In relationships, I still struggle with tolerance and opening up to people, but I’ve definitely become smarter. I’m grateful that I didn’t have to learn anything the hard way, but I’m glad that I’m at a point in my life where I still don’t need anyone yet, you know?
I feel like many people my age have similar goals and sentiments as I’ve mentioned here. The early 20s are really the years are figuring out life and where it’s going to go next. I’m having a pretty good time so far.
That’s it for now, thanks for reading! I’ll be writing about my new business venture shortly. 🙂
My family is still grieving, but they’re taking care of business as far as arrangements. Anyone whose family is from a different country knows that this is a huge task. When my grandpa died in 2010, my father had a casket custom made somewhere in the United States and shipped to our house (which was weird, looking at and opening a casket that would be sent to Nigeria), and sent it to Nigeria himself so he could see it before it reached its destination. There’s also a lot to deal with because I’m not sure where they’re burying my grandma, I would hope it’s near her late husband, but I’m not sure. Anyway, there is a lot to do, but it’s getting done and my parents are being productive.
People have been coming in and out of the house offering condolences since yesterday, so I’m pretty much been making food all day. People have been so kind, some of my friends called or sent their kind thoughts to me after either hearing about it or seeing my posts online, and that’s awesome. Sometimes I truly forget that I actually matter to some people. Not that I don’t think that I matter, but I admit that sometimes I need to be reminded that I do. My mom hasn’t cried all day, and she seems in higher spirits today; laughing, telling her obnoxious jokes, and just being the rambunctious mom that she is. So today, I’m alright. 🙂 My house has been divided for a while now, but this tragedy has eliminated the divide…at least for now.
Otherwise, I’ve been trying to keep busy outside of helping out with arrangements, so I’ve been taking my younger siblings and ‘nieces & nephews’ (who are really just younger cousins who call me ‘auntie Tosin’ or ‘Sis’ out of cultural respect; my younger brothers call me ‘Sis’) and keeping them all occupied so my parents and their parents can concentrate, and I have a few blogs written that I’ve saved in my drafts. So I’m a lot better than yesterday. We all are.
Thanks for reading. Really, I appreciate it. More blogs coming soon.